Comments on: The Danger of Denial: How Avoiding Your Grief Can Impede Emotional Healing http://www.drkeithmanning.com/coping-with-grief/the-danger-of-denial-how-avoiding-your-grief-can-impede-emotional-healing/ Just another WordPress weblog Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:24:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Maria http://www.drkeithmanning.com/coping-with-grief/the-danger-of-denial-how-avoiding-your-grief-can-impede-emotional-healing//comment-page-1#comment-1898 Maria Thu, 04 Aug 2011 03:09:31 +0000 http://www.drkeithmanning.com/?p=81#comment-1898 I have been avoiding the pain of grieving for years and it has finally caught up with me. I was the mother and care giver to a heart transplant recipient. The four years my son, Chandler was alive was extremely painful. At age four he passed away in my arms at the hospital as the docs removed him from life support. A year later I became pregnant with my daughter, Lauren. When she was six weeks old I learned that my husband was deep into crack cocaine. He had been stealing money from our business and checking account. We lost our business, home, and our life savings. Through all of this I pushed forward and put on a front that everything was okay. All of my friends say, "You're the strongest person I know." Well, I don't feel so strong now and I wish I would have dealt with the pain years ago because it's biting me in the ass now. I can't focus on anything, I'm having a difficult time finding a job and when I do I find a reason to sabotage it. I feel like I am in a black hole and can't get out. I'm a single parent of a three year old little girl and she is the only thing getting me out of bed each day. I just want to move past all of this pain. I have been avoiding the pain of grieving for years and it has finally caught up with me. I was the mother and care giver to a heart transplant recipient. The four years my son, Chandler was alive was extremely painful. At age four he passed away in my arms at the hospital as the docs removed him from life support. A year later I became pregnant with my daughter, Lauren. When she was six weeks old I learned that my husband was deep into crack cocaine. He had been stealing money from our business and checking account. We lost our business, home, and our life savings. Through all of this I pushed forward and put on a front that everything was okay. All of my friends say, “You’re the strongest person I know.” Well, I don’t feel so strong now and I wish I would have dealt with the pain years ago because it’s biting me in the ass now. I can’t focus on anything, I’m having a difficult time finding a job and when I do I find a reason to sabotage it. I feel like I am in a black hole and can’t get out. I’m a single parent of a three year old little girl and she is the only thing getting me out of bed each day. I just want to move past all of this pain.

]]> By: Linda Lee Tom http://www.drkeithmanning.com/coping-with-grief/the-danger-of-denial-how-avoiding-your-grief-can-impede-emotional-healing//comment-page-1#comment-1894 Linda Lee Tom Mon, 28 Feb 2011 22:30:32 +0000 http://www.drkeithmanning.com/?p=81#comment-1894 I've been hurt for so long... And was never properly healed which caused me to be the way I am... so emotionally wrecked... covered in fear... and hate... people always tell me how wise I am and strong to go through the shit I've went through... but they dont see the scared little girl inside me that what if this shit never goes away... And I will be trapped forever... on Depression Island... and my smile will never come back... or the BITCH will never go away... He hurts my feelings and he tells me he doesnt care... So why should I care or live.... maybe I should just DIE I’ve been hurt for so long… And was never properly healed which caused me to be the way I am… so emotionally wrecked… covered in fear… and hate… people always tell me how wise I am and strong to go through the shit I’ve went through… but they dont see the scared little girl inside me that what if this shit never goes away… And I will be trapped forever… on Depression Island… and my smile will never come back… or the BITCH will never go away… He hurts my feelings and he tells me he doesnt care… So why should I care or live…. maybe I should just DIE

]]> By: Emily http://www.drkeithmanning.com/coping-with-grief/the-danger-of-denial-how-avoiding-your-grief-can-impede-emotional-healing//comment-page-1#comment-974 Emily Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:35:36 +0000 http://www.drkeithmanning.com/?p=81#comment-974 Yes, I would like someone to talk to... I lost my father 7 years ago (I am a 26 y/o female) and never grieved him because it was so traumatizing... I found him dead one morning on my way to pick up my girlfriend from school... He died of a massive heart-attack in his sleep. I immediately turned to relationships after he died... and the relationships have been rather unhealthy and mimic the relationship I had with my mother (maybe my father, too). At any rate, I have found myself in very painful relationships as a way to avoid my grief. I never realized I did it, and now that I realize, I would like some help... Here's my blog by the way: http://not2bforgot10.wordpress.com Thanks. Yes, I would like someone to talk to… I lost my father 7 years ago (I am a 26 y/o female) and never grieved him because it was so traumatizing… I found him dead one morning on my way to pick up my girlfriend from school… He died of a massive heart-attack in his sleep.

I immediately turned to relationships after he died… and the relationships have been rather unhealthy and mimic the relationship I had with my mother (maybe my father, too). At any rate, I have found myself in very painful relationships as a way to avoid my grief.

I never realized I did it, and now that I realize, I would like some help…

Here’s my blog by the way: http://not2bforgot10.wordpress.com

Thanks.

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